Types at the gym

Tough guys/girls: big, over muscled, often tatooed. Tend to lift more than they can handle and then drop the free weights loudly on the ground in case you didn't notice how much they picked up in the first place. Listen for the grunts.

Pretty boys/girls: Want to be seen as tough and athletic. Always on the machines so you can't tell how much they're lifting. Usually more interested in scantily clad members of the opposite sex on treadmills. Make a big show of toweling off sweat or getting a drink. Very loud so you notice them.

Lookin' for a (wo)man: Either young and perky and always hanging around the tough guys and pretty boys or middle aged and constantly glancing around to see whose checking them out. Always wearing more makeup and jewelery at the gym than the rest of us wear on a date. Never dressed in sweats and aT-shirt.

Serious athletes: Often carry notebooks to mark down what they did this time around. Usually sweaty. Not afraid to take the scariest classes (just thinking about Advanced Spinning makes me tired). Among the only people getting their money's worth.

I'm cool (as long as you don't know my mom pays for my membership): Who are all of these people buying $40/month gym memberships so their 13 year old sons can glance at a weight machine occasionally on their way to play basketball? Is it just that they're too old for a babysitter and you don't trust them at home alone? Isn't this why Little League and the Boys and Girls Club were invented?

Seriously interested in their health: Often seen with personal trainers. Usually at least mildly overweight/out of shape. Just show up, do their thing and go home. I go to a gym on the yuppy side of town. We're short on these.