Crappy remakes

Why does the world continue to make bad remakes of good movies?
Why do I keep feeling compelled to watch them?
Do I think that one day a remake will actually be good?
Why do I let bad remakes ruin my memories of great movies?

Bad remakes I have watched (sometimes more than once)

Yours, Mine and Ours: Lucille Ball was so good. This version was so bad. The kids bugged me. The parents made me angry. It wasn't even funny.

Love Affair: Warren Beatty, Annette Benning and nothing worth seeing. Ever.

Godzilla 2000: I went to see this in the theater because a guy I knew had one line in it. His part got cut and I was seriously rooting for the lizard to win.

Cheaper By the Dozen: Let's take a great movie about how a family functions and supports each other with twelve kids and turn it into a series of cheap gags about puke and a bunch of bratty kids who are unwilling to help out in the slightest. Even Steve Martin couldn't save this one. I mean, Hilary Duff and Ashton Kutcher? Since I didn't feel tortured enough, I found myself watching the sequel on an airplane a few months ago. Bad idea.

I'll address the myriad of terrible sequels I've wasted my time on in another entry. Those are even worse mistakes.