First the radio star, then the rest of us.

The terrorists have got it all wrong. Forget about nefarious plots. Just scramble every TV station in the world except for VH1.

VH1 is home to a plethora of horrible TV shows. Horrible TV shows that, just like a car wreck, we can't look away from. (and it makes us end our sentences in prepositions)

I have watched "50 Cutest Television Kids" more times than I care to own up to.

I lost several hours this weekend to "100 Hottest Teen Stars."

And what college student in the late 90s didn't lose hours of her life to "Pop Up Video" This may have been the worst one of all. At least with the others you can do three other things at the same time and you won't miss anything. But with "Pop Up Video," every time you heard that little 'bloop' noise, you just had to look up. My friends and I lost an entire New Year's Day to this one once.

If you want to destroy this country, just trap us all in an infinite loop of mesmerizing trash TV and then walk right in and take what you want.