I am suddenly inspired to stomp on the joy of millions of children

Before I begin, let me say that I like kids. At least the kind that were raised to behave like human beings and respect other people and things. But there is one thing that, when owned by any child on the planet, makes me crazy.

Those stupid sneakers with the wheels in them.

They annoy me.

I just don't think it's okay for kids to skate anywhere they feel like it. And the kids that have them are always doing things like weaving down the aisles of stores. They never pay attention to other people or care if they are in the way or being dangerous. These are also the same children whose parents will sue everyone in sight if their precious angel were to crash and get hurt while roller skating unprotected (I've never seen a kid in a helmet rolling around the mall) in the sort of place where they shouldn't.

I curse the day these things were invented and always applaud stores with signs banning them.